The Fast...Part 1

As of Monday, August 10^th 2009, I have decided to go on a much needed spiritual fast. The reason for this is to simply put myself in check. Get my brain, heart and mind back into shape so to speak. It had come to my attention that I spend my days aimlessly idle with no positive thoughts or goals. I spent too much time on facebook and other entertainment sights not paying attention to what was going on around me. I initially was going to go for 40 days but I figured that’s a little excessive for a person who doesn’t fast often. I’ve fasted before but this is the first time I’ve done it alone. I’m always open to new challenges so this should be interesting. I’m all ready feeling the effects of no Facebook. I feel like I’m out of the loop…to be honest it bothers me. I’m also taking more time to workout and do more reading.I was inspired to to this whole thing after reading about Malcolm X's transformation...not from "Little" to X but from X to Shabazz which meant for to me overall. It was while visiting the Holy land of Mecca that he realized the true meaning of Islam was not rooted in racial injustic but of love and began worshipping as such. I am no Muslim and I don't expect that type of change this time around but it sure inspiring and admirable to read about such change. I believe that we as human go through tremendous changes based on life experiences and regardless of the opinions of spectators change is personal. If you feel different...you are. Hopefully, I’ll regain my muse for music and start working on new material. Maybe develop some material for the upcoming situational comedy script my friend and I are planning. Who knows? I feel better and my conscience is clear. I’ll be writing you quite often during this period because I believe that this process will be therapeutic for me and hopefully for you all. Tomorrow I plan to discuss, Love, Hate, Enemies and Friends. If your name is mentioned please don’t take offense. I’m only speaking from the heart…plus you shouldn’t be so sensitive anyway…*smile*

Until then….Thanks for reading!

Music and Priorities: Part 1

My life is not as complicated as I think it is. I promise folks. I have this bad habit of thinking speaking in incomplete sentences. I start off with the thought in my head and finish with a verbal interpretation. This, of course, tends to confuse and frustrate my lovely wife who has learned to work around or deal with it in the years that she’s known me. I admit, it’s an odd quirk…A crazy flaw that I has been dormant in my psyche since childhood. The fact is ladies and gentlemen…I’m weird. I’ve been quite eccentric for as long as I’ve had an imagination. I think it comes from years of being antisocial and creating my own little imaginary world. I’ve grown to love and hate it……I swear I’m going somewhere with this…..Just hang in there with me folks.


Lately, as I’ve said on countless occasions, my life has taken a bunch of twists and turns. Everything came to a head when my son was born and I went through all types of crazy hell and emotional pain, blah, blah, blah and a Lifetime movie! Well before this happening I was in the process of completing a long awaited album called “Open Wounds”. Now to some friends this is merely a mythological album conjured up by rumors, false promises (Ex: Open Wounds Coming Soon!), and pure shit talk. I had been working on this project for the better half of 2 years at the time. Most of the delay was due to lack of funds, inspiration and resources. So It’s March 2008 and I finally finished the album. Everything seemed to be finally coming around full circle. I just got signed by a friend to a seemingly cool humble label deal and BAM…wife goes into early term labor and my whole life changes. I’ll spare you the theatrics but in that time I stopped thinking about music. No more…we need to get this music done, no more MC dreams and to be frank I was quite fine with that. I guess I went into survivor mode. All I wanted to do is see my son survive, make my wife happy again and provide for my family. Perhaps the most fruitful part of all dark periods in life is the lessons learned. I realized who my real friends are. I gained a huge amount of respect for my wife and I came face to face with some of my ugliest demons. I learned to have faith, to forgive, and to be forgiven. This all took time. While living in my own world I sort of forgot about the world around me. Which is why I can understand the frustration of my label heads that were wondering why I didn’t produce more product, or a plan, or money. Meanwhile, my frustration grew with them because I felt that they didn’t understand (or empathize) with my current situation. Some would say, “Well, how could they? They have no children”. Others would say, “Well, they should have known better and should have been more supportive.” I honestly wasn’t thinking about hip-hop for the longest but as an artist you have to write. Even if you say, “I quit” you still find the urge to be creative. My label had found other projects to do and were clearly busy which I thought was great. Besides I’m all the way in Chicago and they are in New Orleans. They were creating so much and after a while I felt out of the loop. Plus, as I said before, I was mainly focused on family. As things got more intense with my son’s situation the more depressed I got. I needed an outlet. I needed support…from someone or something other than my wife. I found myself so busy worrying about if she was ok that I forgot to check on myself. Not to say she didn’t help me out greatly but sometimes you have to step outside yourself to find yourself or at least try to rekindle that spark of happiness inside. So I did some soul searching. I stopped listening to hip-hop. I focused on different hobbies such as freestyle writing (such as now), and listening to folk music (an old love). I found solace in the calming melodies that reminded me of my innocence. I focused on spiritual strength. I spoke to my father more often who gave me a bunch of wise words to live by. In essence I went “back home”. I started writing rhymes again but this time in a different light. It felt different. I feel stronger. Only thing is my dreams of being a “rap star” were dimming. What was more important to me was my job, which was bringing consistent money into my house thus paying bills and feeding my child. Not to mention the plethora of medical bills that came along with my son’s unique case. Being a husband and father was way more important than hip-hop. See, in my mind “Cutta” died sometime ago only to resurrect as Chris Blount: working father and husband. I now could careless about how many records I sold or who was the best emcee. I just wanted to be the best “me”. How the hell am I supposed to rap now?

My Trip: Family, Fun, and Awkward Moments

Can it be I stayed Away too long?

Did I cross your mind when I was gone…


It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog about my slightly boring yet informative life. As usual life is a rollercoaster filled with ups, downs, twists and turns. I recently took an extended voyage back to New Orleans to attend my friend Jason Turner’s wedding. I really enjoyed it…great food…great fun…great couple. I’ve been going to a lot of weddings lately and I swear…if any of these bastards gets a divorce I’m personally punching them in the stomach. I’ve been in almost every wedding I’ve been invited to which to me is a blessing. It’s great to know that so many people who mean so much to me also feel the same. I love watching marriages bloom because it lets me know that I’m not in this alone. Later on that weekend I met with a bunch of friends at the fly which is a riverfront park-like area where people BBQ and enjoy life. It was so refreshing to be back with my friends…I mean real friends. I don’t have to give a background story…I can truly be myself around these people and it’s great. I appreciate everyone who came out. Plus it was the first time everyone got a chance to see my son under better circumstances. He was healthy and hyper just like any other 1 year old. I think my mother spoiled him a little too much during the strip because afterwards he started throwing temper tantrums when it was time to go to bed…Clearly he’s a product of grandparent spoiling…One thing that got on my damn nerves was the way some of my family members kept commenting on my weight…Ok everyone…I get it! I gained wait! Shit, I had a hard year and my body shows it. I have decided that I will not return to New Orleans unless I’ve lost at least 20 pounds…then everyone can shut the hell up!

Next was our first official family road trip. It started off pretty great until I got stopped by this ornery ass patrol cop right outside of Baton Rouge…Ok I admit I was speeding a little bit but that was partly because I didn’t notice the change in the speeding limit a block back. He had his lights on blast and instructed me to stop the car and step out of the car. I immediately stopped. My mind was racing…I was hyped up on coffee and thinking of Sean Bell, Amadou Diallo…Clearly I was over thinking the situation but you should have seen how angry this guy was. …I mean PISSED! “Why the hell were you speeding?” I just apologized but really, Officer?!…How the hell you expect me to answer that? “Well officer, I frankly like breaking the law…Good thing you stopped me. I was going to continue speeding so I can rob a bunch of banks and commit a bunch of heinous crimes.”..Yeah, you won this time Gadget! Anyway, he gave me my ticket and I was on my way. The trip went off without a hitch. The drive went surprisingly smooth. Brandi and I spent most of the time listening to different radio stations and a UGK mix that I made in preparation for our journey. The highways in Dallas totally pissed me off. Only when we got to Dallas did we get lost countless times throughout the trip mostly due to my “sporadically handy” GPS system that’s connected to my cell phone. I was almost doubting my potential move until I saw our soon to be apartment. The neighborhood was beautiful. The town homes next door to our kick ass apartment complex look like a scene from a Tim Burton movie…I love the Hilltop backdrop that our neighborhood has. It’s comforting…and mostly bourgeois and safe! I enjoyed hanging with my sister and my brother in law Steve…Their son seems a bit on the soft and spoiled side which can be quite agitating but I dealt with it…plus he’s only 10. Why the hell does Dallas radio play the same 10 damn songs on every station…even their soft R&B station plays the same shit! There is no reason why the first four days we were there “We Can’t Be Friends” played every damn day…The Artists aren’t dead…it wasn’t a special event. Hell…that song isn’t special! I have to say that I’m looking forward to warmer weather and having close family and friends around. Real Estate is great and I feel the schools will be a plus for Lil Chris.


There are a few cons to the whole Dallas move. The stigma of Texas looms in my mind as a close-minded Bible belt state that turns their nose at anything different and still has a slight distain for minorities. Also…I’m a hippie at heart. I like folk music and coffee shops, book and movie clubs, Inde films, etc…Shocking I know…but that’s why I enjoy Chicago. I just hope I can find that area out there…I know it’s there I just have to do some searching.

Also I’ve given up on my 13-year dream of uniting all of my siblings. After hearing my sisters bitch and complain about each other and their inner turmoil I have come to the conclusion that they all have personal issues that they have to work out and it’s entirely too tiring for me to dedicate any time to mending wounds that have been around longer than I have been alive. Maybe it’s my inner naïve child surfacing but I once dreamed of a close-knit family environment between all my father’s children. I didn’t expect everyone to be best friends but I wanted everyone to be aware and possibly talk to each other from time to time. I have three sisters in Dallas. We all have the same father…. and you will never see them all together…due to petty bitter bullshit. It’s beyond my control at this point. I have gotten over the disappointment of it all and I’ll concentrate on MY family. Whoever wants to come join in are more than welcome. Plus there’s a shit load of drama that I’d rather not get into…and frankly I don’t want to be apart of it. Like I said before…I’m all about being safe…lol

On another note, my distain for Atlanta (mainly it’s airport) had grown to astronomical proportions. Both ways to and from the trip we were held up for hours in the airport…totally threw off our schedules. Not to mention I just hate Atlanta! I’m just happy my son didn’t wild out and cry the whole time. He was a total trooper. I’m so proud of him. Plus, I had the most awkward flight EVER! So I’m boarding the plane in Dallas headed to ATL. We get to our seats and Here’s the seating arrangements: My wife and lil Chris, Myself, and this chick I had boned back in 2000…AWKWARD!!!! We just sat there and had one of those elevator conversations where things were ultra general. We didn’t ask each other any personal questions. Perhaps the funniest part was when I introduced Brandi to her…I just stated her name and referred to her as “cool peeps from back in the day”…but what was I supposed to say? “Hey honey, this is an old jump off I had in 2000…We banged a couple times but nothing serious…eh…Peanuts, anyone?” The whole trip I was thinking of how much of a whore I was back in the day…most of it was good thoughts…ah yes…The golden days of skirt chasing and liquor consumption. Then I couldn’t stop laughing a the thought of me playing embarrassing games in my mind like “Guess who seen Chris’ Penis”…or “What percentage of this plane has Chris had sex with?” Later on when the coast was clear I told Brandi about me and her and she just laughed and made fun of me for about an hour…I love the fact that my wife can be a loveable asshole! It makes my life so much easier. Well, That was about it for my trip. Tune in next time when I discuss my new music direction and the BIG MOVE!


Until next time, everyone!



Shout out to my youngest brother Alvin who turned 18 today.....Man, I'm getting old!

Being Productive

So it's the weekend and you know what that means...

I'm at work overnight...It's an acquired taste. I've been working overnights on the weekends on and off for about 5 years now. I actually don't know what to do with myself when I'm off on weekends anymore. I guess that comes with age.

Anyway, by the end of 2008 I decided to be more productive in 2009. I've been rapping for years and don't have much to show for it. I know I'm pretty talented but I just never had that push (or money for studio time) to do it. Plus, I've always struggled with producers. I don't really have the funds to shelve out to produce a whole album all at once...I understand it's a business so I never complain. Honestly, I was lazy when it came to writing. I was uninspired and I had bigger issues going on in life.(i.e. my family situation) So this year it's no more excuses! I'm making an effort to do more music and also study more....Last year I got the bright idea to study screenwriting. I've always been love movies and sitcoms. It fascinated me and after reading so many success stories of my favorite directors and writers I figured "Well, I can do this" Not in an easy way but I feel I have the talent and witty banter to write something entertaining. I've been told I'm quite comedic...sometimes I agree. I just find comedy in the simple things in life...Little pet peeves and stupid people always make me laugh.


Moving along...

So....what's my process now???


Currently: I'm on the 9Th chapter of "Screenwriting For Dummies"...yeah laugh but it's a good ass book. My goal is to dedicate more time to actually reading the damned book instead of just carrying it around to make myself feel better when I look at it. By next week, I'll upload the program for scripts so I can practice. I really think I have a good idea on my hands and hopefully I can get my friend off his ass and help out. He helped me develop the story but tends to get distracted by tomfoolery. I like to call it "Shiny Object Syndrome"....but then again I can't blame him. I have it too. If everything works out we should have about 9 full episodes written.....Pray for us.


Musically, it's a little more difficult. I admit, I don't write often but when I do it's pretty good. Plus I have to wait on other producers in order to record and not to mention studio costs and balancing my finances so that I don't have any major bills due when I feel like recording...Being a grown up sucks. I'm excited about my current project which is going to be with this producer named Keeynote. We're doing a producer-rapper album which means I do all the rapping and he'll do all the beats...I like those albums. This is sort of like a test drive and if it works out then we'll do another one. I miss being in a group or group like atmosphere because you can feed off each other's creative thoughts and that's when the best music is formed....Sadly our schedules prevent us from having any real chill time to do so. It was sooo much easier back in the days when I was with my old friends from Track-N-Feel....The studio was free and we just hung out and came up with music...Some of the best stuff I've been involved with til this day!.....memories.


Anyway, I'll keep you posted...Thanks for reading




- Chris

25 things People May or May not know about me...

I filled this out on my facebook page and thought it was interesting...I may add some more interesting facts in the future....So here it goes...Let me know what you think.


25. I was born with grey hair and in junior high everyone called me "Black Moses" because I had a black and white afro.

24. I always get weed jokes about my last name but what's really funny is that I was born at 4:20 am.....oddly enough my younger brother Steve was born at 4:20 pm

23. I absoluely have been in love with horror since I was a kid...I read "The Dark Half" and "It" by Stephen King in the 5th grade.

22. I've always had an odd fetish for Goth chicks and perky suburban women....they are totally hot!

21. I love folk music more than hip-hop.

20. I actually have a total of 12 brothers and sisters....2 from my mom with whom I was raised and 10 from my father....and I've met or have contacted all of them.

19. I'm a total film geek and my dream is to create a sitcom and eventually write a movie.

18. My first rap group was called "Unusual" which included Jon Reynolds and Jeremy Roussell...in the 9th grade.

17. At one point I had all my closest friends logged in my phone under their mother's names.....totally hilarious!

16. I tried being Athiest for a while....but literally couldn't...I understand why one would be but there's just too many things have happened in my life that would lead me to believe otherwise.

15. 1997 was the darkest year ever....for some reasons I can't get into but in a nutshell I got shot at (Barely missed a hail of bullets intended for a neighbor standing next to me), one of my favorite cousins died, I used to steal food to eat, etc, etc.

14. I have an issue with forvgiveness...I forgive..but NEVER forget...thus making it hard to truly forgive.

13. I feel enemies are an absolute necessity. I think they bring a sense of balance in life and one cannot exist without the other. I'm at peace when I know who I atleast have one person who I mutually dislike....Show me the most peaceful person you know and I'll show you who they can't stand.

12. Although we don't speak much and have had countless arguements over the years, I have and will ALWAYS love and be apart of The Firm (Eric, Jon, Vash and Spencer) and will do anything for them.....even if they may not feel the same.

11. The difficult birth of my son and the events following changed how I view everything in life....EVERYTHING!

10. Fun fact about my family: I'm 4 generations removed from Kenya.

9. Not so fun fact about my family: I'm 2nd cousins with Tyler Perry

8. I have the imagination of a child so I'm always thinking of something totally ridiculous, Goofy and childish at the most serious times. (business meetings, Funerals, Weddings, etc.)

7. I have an inner conscience that speaks to me when making important moral decisions...The "voice" always refers to me as "Young Brotha"...and that "voice" is the voice of James Earl Jones.

6. I truly believe I'm apart of the best circle of friends known to man....You know who you are..from the house parties...The lake on Easter...No one beats us...I don't know a better group of people....they gave me some of the best times of my life.

5. I asked my wife Brandi for her medical history within the first 3 weeks of dating just to check if she had a trait of sickle cell because I have a trait and if she had it I would have immediately stopped dating her.

4. My first experience with racism was with blacks (Light skinned/Dark skinned) improved my openness toward other races (hey if your own people hate you...what's the point?, Right) but I had a slight resentment for light skinned blacks until I met my friend C.J. in 1998.

3. Before 25 I had not made any life plans afterwards because until then I honestly thought I wouldn't live to see it....True but sad story.

2. One of my biggest pet peeves is when personal friends who I've known for years refer to me as "Cutta".

1. I LOVE New Orleans with all my heart and soul....I live it...I eat and sleep it!...but I'll never move back.

2008

2008...

2008 was a rough year for me. My child was born 3 months premature at 1 pound 9 ounces and spent about 6 to 7 months in the hospital. It was a very trying time for my wife and I as we went through an emotional roller coaster of pain, joy, regret, and anger. Oddly (or not so oddly) I learned a great deal from this experience. I put so much trust into so many people and used them as a crutch and watched most of them distance themselves from me in my time of despair. I can count the few people who called me almost everyday weather I wanted them to or not just to check up on me and see if I was ok. This angered me at first because I thought "Where's the love?" "What happend to the huge crew I ran with and how it was "(fill in the blank) for life?" Then I thought about what a friend of mine said about anger....Take time to think about why you're angry and you'll realize that some anger makes no sense and there is no reason to be angry. So I did this and came to the realization that some of my friends didn't know how to deal with this situation. I mean, this wasn't some random "girl issue" that I had...I was dealing with the life and possible death of my son. What can they say to cope. Most if not all have never been around a situation like that before...I know I haven't. As a matter of fact months after the fact I got calls from some of my old friends who expressed their confusion on the matter which made me feel better about the situation.

I guess what pissed me off were the small percentage of people who were in a great position to help but turned a blind eye toward my family. Some of my Chicago friends who live in the same city knew what was going on yet never called or offered support....My wife and I were hurt by that....Plus this friend with whom I had been a little on the outs with said a rather unflattering comment towards my son during one of his most trying times and that was the last straw between me and him. I was so heated I never really spoke to him afterwards and avoided him when I went back to New Orleans for fear of what I would do to him....what an asshole!

All and all I think 2008 was a great experience. I have more faith than ever now and I feel like I have more of a purpose than any other time in my life. My wife depends on me...my child depends on me...I need them...I need my friends to be there for me...All these things I have realised in 2008. I'm a little more "grown" now and it feels so good. I'm blessed to be married to such a wonderful woman and I think we created a special child. If anything He's a fighter...this year was all about him come to think about it....ALL Chris Johnathan. My little sequel...my own Benajmin Button...lol


More posts on the way...I just had to get my thoughts on 2008 out....Thanks for reading.

Something "Untitled" that I wrote

I don't know if this is a poem or a verse....It may very well be both...but I had it on my mind...Let me know what you think....It's Untitled for the moment. Excuse the N.O. slang....I'll be happy to explain if questioned. The next blog will talk about my views on the subject matter of this very prose....So check it out!


By. Christopher "Cutta" Blount

Success is bitter sweet like the disappointing fact
That Katrina made you recognize my city's on the map
Or America was built off the backs of beaten blacks
We don't recognize our past so we don't know how to act
Don't believe these labels when they offer jewelery and stacks
Yeah, they may back your record but they never have your back
See, they buck you up
Tell you your the best on the come up
But streets be watching
Better wear a vest if they run up
Cause shit could get real
Like...
... if a brother playing...
And he say "Like A Man"
Before stating how he feel
And fists start flying, and you pulled out a nine
But he was bout that foolishness and had it on his mind
And now you lying dead
From bullet wounds, your ass kicked
Over something that you had said on track 6
Second line in your name, chain on your casket
All because you lived and died for this rap shit
Another great plot to fill a grave plot
Grow up and rise
Just to die in the same spot
It's planned
The tears and the money of the fans
Means cash only lands in record exec's hands
A waste
A statement says "He'll never be replaced"
But couple months wait
And they got a fresh face
And he comes from a place
With a higher murder rate
Let's put him on the block before his release date
Another cycle of hate and it don't seem right
But don't believe me
Look at the life of VL Mike

Don't believe me look at the life of VL Mike

Don't believe me.....

(Rest In Peace)