2008

2008...

2008 was a rough year for me. My child was born 3 months premature at 1 pound 9 ounces and spent about 6 to 7 months in the hospital. It was a very trying time for my wife and I as we went through an emotional roller coaster of pain, joy, regret, and anger. Oddly (or not so oddly) I learned a great deal from this experience. I put so much trust into so many people and used them as a crutch and watched most of them distance themselves from me in my time of despair. I can count the few people who called me almost everyday weather I wanted them to or not just to check up on me and see if I was ok. This angered me at first because I thought "Where's the love?" "What happend to the huge crew I ran with and how it was "(fill in the blank) for life?" Then I thought about what a friend of mine said about anger....Take time to think about why you're angry and you'll realize that some anger makes no sense and there is no reason to be angry. So I did this and came to the realization that some of my friends didn't know how to deal with this situation. I mean, this wasn't some random "girl issue" that I had...I was dealing with the life and possible death of my son. What can they say to cope. Most if not all have never been around a situation like that before...I know I haven't. As a matter of fact months after the fact I got calls from some of my old friends who expressed their confusion on the matter which made me feel better about the situation.

I guess what pissed me off were the small percentage of people who were in a great position to help but turned a blind eye toward my family. Some of my Chicago friends who live in the same city knew what was going on yet never called or offered support....My wife and I were hurt by that....Plus this friend with whom I had been a little on the outs with said a rather unflattering comment towards my son during one of his most trying times and that was the last straw between me and him. I was so heated I never really spoke to him afterwards and avoided him when I went back to New Orleans for fear of what I would do to him....what an asshole!

All and all I think 2008 was a great experience. I have more faith than ever now and I feel like I have more of a purpose than any other time in my life. My wife depends on me...my child depends on me...I need them...I need my friends to be there for me...All these things I have realised in 2008. I'm a little more "grown" now and it feels so good. I'm blessed to be married to such a wonderful woman and I think we created a special child. If anything He's a fighter...this year was all about him come to think about it....ALL Chris Johnathan. My little sequel...my own Benajmin Button...lol


More posts on the way...I just had to get my thoughts on 2008 out....Thanks for reading.